I made a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes....

I'm not going to try to justify it, because what I did was entirely wrong. I could have lost the most amazing thing to have ever happened to me. Having him stick around, well it speaks so much for his character.

I didn't cheat.....but I did lie, I did try to hide it, and i never meant to hurt him. I will never forget the sound of his voice....the pain, the anger, the hurt, the loss of trust. The look of utter betrayal, the anguish in his eyes. I do not deserve him.

He took back my ring, the one he promised to marry me with. But I understand....you can't marry someone you don't completely trust. I don't deserve his love and his kindness. I deserve to rot for what I did. He should have left me....he should have left me....

I will do everything I can to make things better. I will earn his trust back, and I will tear down that wall that has formed between us. If he thinks that it's worth trying to save what we have, then I will fight tooth and nail to see that what we had restored.

I know it will take time to make things better. But things can only look up once you've hit rock bottom.